Stress Slowly Building Up – Decisions, Choices, and Sacrifices

It’s true – Operation Baby Bump is really stressful – emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. But no profit is gained without investing something. No project is successful without hard work. So here we are, investing all that we can – time, resources, faith and hope, to overcome all the hurdles that come our way as we know that our heart’s desire will be given to us in the right time. 

1st Stressor
How will I be able to come back to Philippines in February 2013 as I do not have leave balance anymore? But I had to think of ways if I really want to have a baby. So DH and I decided for me to request for unpaid leave. Request is still pending until now… DH has no problem in filing a 30-day leave again as he has still unused leave and that his manager is very understanding. Hay OFW life!
2nd Stressor
Unpaid leave for 1 month means no income for me and that is one hell less of incoming money. This means budget for the IUI procedure will be compromised if we will not find other ways. Good thing we have little savings but we just hope that it would be enough not only for the treatment but also for our expenses when we get back here in Dubai.
3rd Stressor
As I am a positive thinker, I am anticipating already that this procedure will result in a two-line stick. I should be happy when it happens but I am also contemplating now what will I do next as my fertility doctor already told me beforehand that if I will get pregnant, she will definitely put me into bed rest for the first trimester. If my unpaid leave is approved, will my company still allow me to prolong it for 2 more months?? Would they allow me to file it as medical leave?? And another issue – say, if they do allow me, can I manage without 3 months salary???
4th Stressor
IUI procedure does not yield 100% success rate. A lot of ‘what ifs’ are going on in my mind. Even though I tried to think positive, there are people surrounding me reminding that there is this 75% chance for the procedure to fail…. What’s next if we fail??
5th Stressor
My work comes in my way to motherhood. The endless stress the work brings and the colleagues give, the sleepless nights on duty, and the tiring 12-hour shift make it a futile environment for childbearing. But I cannot leave my work right away as I have to contribute to our household’s income so that our goals will be realized soon. But also, one of our goals now is having a baby, which is hindered by my work. I know I will come to the point later that I have to choose between career and motherhood. As my mother advises me, “You are not young anymore. If you need to resign do so. It will be worth it once the baby is there”. Am I prepared to resign anytime? Are we financially capable of doing so? I also do not know the answer, but what I know is that I badly want to have a baby now….

And the stress goes on and on….I am just keeping my faith that we will surpass this battle and rejoice later as we have triumphed. I am holding on to Him for guidance and enlightenment that He will lead us to the right path.

The Scary Wives’ Tales about HSG

Before we undergo IUI procedure, our doctor advised me to take a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test just to make sure that my fallopian tubes are not blocked to give way for the sperms and egg to travel to the uterus for implantation. 

In HSG test, a catheter is inserted into the cervix and a dye solution is injected to the fallopian tubes. An X-ray is then done to see if the dye passes through the tube. If the tube is blocked, it would show right away in the x-ray.

From the stories I have read in the internet, most of them are saying that this procedure hurts especially if you have tube blockage. Thus, I myself is a little bit scared of doing this test. But I think I am more scared of finding the result… I just hope everything is normal so that we can go ahead with the IUI procedure later.

I was not able to do my HSG test in the Philippines due to time constraints so my doctor told me to try having it here in Dubai.

I am still trying to look for hospitals/ clinics here that offer HSG test at a reasonable cost. I cannot take it in Philippines when I go back there this Jan-Feb 2013 as it would not fit the tentative time frame that we have to follow. This test should be done on days 5-10 of the cycle and I am only going back in Bulacan 2 days prior to 1st day of my cycle when we will start already the fertility medication. 

So I have no choice but to really take HSG test here in Dubai. It is not only the expensive costs that I fear but also the capability and the questionable skills of the doctors here. In short, I just don’t trust the doctors here.

I hope I would find one hospital that is reliable and reputable but reasonable in its costs so I can finish this test.

Hoping for a clear result so that Oplan Baby Bump will be successful!