Stress Slowly Building Up – Decisions, Choices, and Sacrifices

It’s true – Operation Baby Bump is really stressful – emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. But no profit is gained without investing something. No project is successful without hard work. So here we are, investing all that we can – time, resources, faith and hope, to overcome all the hurdles that come our way as we know that our heart’s desire will be given to us in the right time. 

1st Stressor
How will I be able to come back to Philippines in February 2013 as I do not have leave balance anymore? But I had to think of ways if I really want to have a baby. So DH and I decided for me to request for unpaid leave. Request is still pending until now… DH has no problem in filing a 30-day leave again as he has still unused leave and that his manager is very understanding. Hay OFW life!
2nd Stressor
Unpaid leave for 1 month means no income for me and that is one hell less of incoming money. This means budget for the IUI procedure will be compromised if we will not find other ways. Good thing we have little savings but we just hope that it would be enough not only for the treatment but also for our expenses when we get back here in Dubai.
3rd Stressor
As I am a positive thinker, I am anticipating already that this procedure will result in a two-line stick. I should be happy when it happens but I am also contemplating now what will I do next as my fertility doctor already told me beforehand that if I will get pregnant, she will definitely put me into bed rest for the first trimester. If my unpaid leave is approved, will my company still allow me to prolong it for 2 more months?? Would they allow me to file it as medical leave?? And another issue – say, if they do allow me, can I manage without 3 months salary???
4th Stressor
IUI procedure does not yield 100% success rate. A lot of ‘what ifs’ are going on in my mind. Even though I tried to think positive, there are people surrounding me reminding that there is this 75% chance for the procedure to fail…. What’s next if we fail??
5th Stressor
My work comes in my way to motherhood. The endless stress the work brings and the colleagues give, the sleepless nights on duty, and the tiring 12-hour shift make it a futile environment for childbearing. But I cannot leave my work right away as I have to contribute to our household’s income so that our goals will be realized soon. But also, one of our goals now is having a baby, which is hindered by my work. I know I will come to the point later that I have to choose between career and motherhood. As my mother advises me, “You are not young anymore. If you need to resign do so. It will be worth it once the baby is there”. Am I prepared to resign anytime? Are we financially capable of doing so? I also do not know the answer, but what I know is that I badly want to have a baby now….

And the stress goes on and on….I am just keeping my faith that we will surpass this battle and rejoice later as we have triumphed. I am holding on to Him for guidance and enlightenment that He will lead us to the right path.

The Scary Wives’ Tales about HSG

Before we undergo IUI procedure, our doctor advised me to take a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test just to make sure that my fallopian tubes are not blocked to give way for the sperms and egg to travel to the uterus for implantation. 

In HSG test, a catheter is inserted into the cervix and a dye solution is injected to the fallopian tubes. An X-ray is then done to see if the dye passes through the tube. If the tube is blocked, it would show right away in the x-ray.

From the stories I have read in the internet, most of them are saying that this procedure hurts especially if you have tube blockage. Thus, I myself is a little bit scared of doing this test. But I think I am more scared of finding the result… I just hope everything is normal so that we can go ahead with the IUI procedure later.

I was not able to do my HSG test in the Philippines due to time constraints so my doctor told me to try having it here in Dubai.

I am still trying to look for hospitals/ clinics here that offer HSG test at a reasonable cost. I cannot take it in Philippines when I go back there this Jan-Feb 2013 as it would not fit the tentative time frame that we have to follow. This test should be done on days 5-10 of the cycle and I am only going back in Bulacan 2 days prior to 1st day of my cycle when we will start already the fertility medication. 

So I have no choice but to really take HSG test here in Dubai. It is not only the expensive costs that I fear but also the capability and the questionable skills of the doctors here. In short, I just don’t trust the doctors here.

I hope I would find one hospital that is reliable and reputable but reasonable in its costs so I can finish this test.

Hoping for a clear result so that Oplan Baby Bump will be successful!

Operation Baby Bump: The 2-Month Medication Program

I became a pill-popper eversince I got back in Dubai. This is because of the 2 months medication process that I am undergoing right now to prepare my body for pregnancy. But apart from eliminating the unwanted fats, sugar, and toxins, I am also battling the side effects of each of the medicine I am taking.


To start off my fertility treatment, ironically I was given a contraceptive pill. The reasons -- to help balance my hormone and regulate menstruation, and secondly, to ensure that pregnancy is prevented in this period as my organs are not yet prepared physiologically. I have to finish off 3 cycles of Yasmin pill. One pack contains 21 pills and I have to take one pill everyday, at the same time. I take mine everyday at 7am. Then I have a 7-day free pill period where I would be expecting my monthly visit. The side effect -- I was bleeding for almost a month when I was on the first pack. Although lighter than the usual period, it was still uncomfortable as I have to wear pads for almost a month. This breakthrough bleeding/ spotting is due to the balancing of hormones.  

In order to counter high blood sugar and prevent Type 2 diabetes, I am also prescribed to take Metformin, 1500mg daily. But since my stomach cannot tolerate such dose, I was given only 1000mg a day, 500mg in the morning and another at night before sleeping. The side effects -- frequent visits to the toilet especially if you eat fatty foods or eat a bit more than your diet plan. 

To assist in the control of blood sugar, I was also given Actos (Pioglitazone). I do not feel any side effects from this medicine, but I guess it works side by side with Metformin that is why I have this frequent toilet visits.
As I mentioned in my previous blog entry, I was also put into Eltroxin to lower further my TSH level. I am advised to take it right after waking up and wait 30min - 1 hour before taking in any food. So far, no side effect experienced when taking the pill.

Aside from these regulatory medicines, I was also prescribed to take supplements like Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, and Calcium to aide in boosting fertility.

Below is the chart of medication I have to take daily for the operation baby bump project:

Morning		Afternoon		Night
Before Meal	After Meal	Before Meal	After Meal	Before Meal	After Meal
Eltroxin (1 tab)	Metformin (1 tab)		Metformin (1 tab)		Actos (1/2 tab)
	Calci Chews (1 tab)				Metformin (1 tab)
	Folic Acid (1 tab)
	Ascorbic Acid
	Vitamin E
Yasmin (taken at 7am daily)

I am also planning to add Evening Primrose Oil in the list as I was told that it enhances fertility also by increasing cervical mucus. 

For DH, only 1 supplement was prescribed – Immuvit capsule. It is a multivitamin supplement with ginseng just to make him more active but it does not cure his sperm defect. But the most important thing that our doctor advised him to stop increasing the morphology defect of his little swimmers is avoid smoking and reduce alcohol intake.
If it was a struggle for me to gulp all these medicines and accompany it with diet and exercise, it was more difficult for DH to stop abruptly his smoking. But at least he is trying and improving. From 2 packs of cigarettes (20 sticks) a day, he is just puffing 1-2 sticks a day, and sometimes none at all!

We also tried to avoid fatty foods and DH even bought a steamer so that we should just steam our fish, meat, and vegetables instead of frying them or sautéing on oil.

I also resorted to dancing whenever I am off and if we have free time, DH and I walk our way to the open beach and do some cycling, brisk walking and jogging. 

I hope all these sacrifices will bring out a POSITIVE result later.

IUI Procedure - A Couple's Introspect

Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) is one of the assisted reproductive technologies today which aid couples to get pregnant with higher success rate.

I would have passed on getting pregnant naturally, but since DH's sperm analysis turned out not so good, we have to resort to artificial insemination.

But IUI is a bit more 'natural'compared to IVF as the sperm would still try to find its way to meet with the egg and implant itself in the uterus. The only artificial here is that DH will not deposit his little swimmers to me by himself. We have to collect sperm sample from him, let it undergo sperm washing to separate the good sperm from the bad ones. Then the good sperm will then be injected to me through a catheter into the cervix.

I had to talk through my DH on this procedure and let him think about it. Fortunately, he agreed on the procedure. However, due to the lack of time we spent in Philippines, we had to schedule it on a later time, but just in time after all my medications in preparation for my body to get pregnant is over. My fertility doctor, endocrinologist, and nutritionist put me on a 2-month medication program to lessen the side effects of PCOS and prepare my body for gestation.

Hence, the procedure will then be done on Feb 2013. I do hope we would have enough time and resources at that time to complete this procedure.

We would be needing around 25-50k pesos for this first IUI procedure. The medications I need to aid me in ovulating depends on how my body reacts to them. The more my body resists, the more expensive the medication would be.

This is even much cheaper than IVF. But even so, the amount is already stressing us. And also the thought that if it would not work the first time, then again and again, we will have to prepare such amount of money until it becomes successful. But so to speak, NO PAIN, NO GAIN! So off we go to this 'baby project'.

Now the problem is how to escape Dubai without comprising our work -- because NO WORK,NO PAY, thus no money for IUI! :(

The Little Swimmers Up Close

November 7, 2012

DH, my sister and I had to wake up early and battle against the early morning rush going to Ortigas. DH was given a referral by Dra. Tecson for sperm analysis in the Center for Reproductive Medcine, Raffles Corporate Center, Ortigas.

For further information, you can visit their website at http://crmivf.webs.com/contactinformation.htm. Though the website has not been fully updated, I can say tahat their clinic is quite modernized.

DH's sperm analysis costs P700 and you can get the result after 6 hours. Prior to the sperm analysis, we were advised by Dra.Tecson to have sexual abstinence for 3 days -- no more, no less.

While filling up the patient's form, there were questions like how many sticks of cigarettes being consumed a day, how much alcohol being taken, and how often we do baby dances in a week's time. I was not worried with the last question because I know we would score good on this lol! But what made me worried was the first and the second questions.... DH now knows that alcohol and cigarettes have really a big impact on his little swimmers'' performance.

While painstakingly waiting for 6 hours in SM Megamall (the nearest mall in Raffles Building), we tried to divert our attention to the medical result. DH was the only one who returned to the clinic to get the result as it was quite a long walk going back there especially in the midst of a hot afternoon.

When he received the sperm analysis report, he was asking the nurses and receptionist there if was a good or bad news but he was told that our doctor will be the one to interpret it for us.

When DH handed over to me the result, I was somehow lost, drowning into some alien terms! Since my sister who is a nurse is with us, I right away asked her if she can interpret it for us. But she told me she is an ICU nurse and this is not her specialty.

But the curious little Dora in me wanted to explore and understand more the results and I just could not wait for Dra. Tecson's analysis the next day. So during the bus ride from SM Megamall to Cubao and the FX ride from Cubao to Malolos, I indulged myself in deciphering these numeric figures and alien words. My hunch was correct -- DH also has fertility issues...

As per Dra. Tecson, DH is suffering from teratozoospermia, a condition wherein the sperms have abnormal morphology or shapes that affect fertility. In DH's case, the heads of his little swimmers are having defects which makes it harder for them to penetrate my egg cell.

To get pregnant naturally, it would take a lot of patience, effort and luck given the current condition of DH. Hence, Dra. Tecson advised us to resort to IUI procedure, an assisted reproductive technology that can boost the success rate of pregnancy to 20-25%.

I had to explain further to DH what an IUI is and how it will be done. Generally, men really do not have that much knowledge about reproduction compared to women.

We will see how it goes!

And Now on the Bloody Part....

November 6, 2012

Time to get the blood results that my doctor asked me to do:

OGTT 75g - because I have PCOS, I needed to be tested for Type 2 Diabetes as most of the PCOS patients are insulin resistant. Result: nearing the borderline of Type 2 Diabetes :(

Cholesterol/Triglycerides/HDL/LDL - results all normal

Prolactin II - normal

TSH - normal but my endocrinologist prescribed me to take Eltroxin to lower further my TSH level, which will be suitable for gestation.

Since I am having problems with blood sugar, I had to be referred to an endocrinologist. Dra. Gutierrez, my endocrinologist, will work hand in hand with Dra. Tecson during the whole treatment.

As most of the PCOS patients, I am also prescribed to take Metformin 3x a day. I am using Humamet as this gives me lesser side effect (less visits in the loo). I was also given Actos (Pioglitazone) to improve blood sugar control.

And of course, to counter further PCOS, I was advised to be more active physically. My nutritionist gave me a list of the do's and don'ts in the food chart and advised me to have 30-45 minutes exercise everyday.

I had to lose 2 kilos every month and suppress my sweet tooth for quite some time. That would be an easy work, isn't it??!? I need to this, I must do this!! Willpower be bestowed upon me!

Up next -- hubby's little swimmers on a closer look!

The Dreadful Moment -- TVS Result

November 5, 2012

As I was having slight bleeding when I first visited Dra. Tecson last Nov.3, she scheduled me for a transvaginal ultrasound (TVS) two days after. She just prescribed me to take duphaston twice a day for 10 consecutive days to stop the bleeding (although I was not yet set to have my mentsruation until 2 weeks at that time)  She thought it might be caused by ovulation, implantation, or infection. She said duphaston is safe to take even if pregnant. If I am not, then I will get my period after 10 days.

Anyways, so I went back on Nov.5 to have my TVS. The night before that, I was worried because I was thinking what if I had illness other than PCOS. I am scared to death thinking that I would be told I have some kind of cancer already or that I need further surgery.

As Dra. Tan, my sonologist, performed the TVS, she kept silent throughout the procedure and just taking notes with her nurse from time to time. I was holding my breath already for bad news....

Then after the procedure, she then spoke and told me "tell Dra. Tecson normal naman ang matres mo (tell Dra. Tecson, you're uterus is normal). When she said that I wanted to jump for joy because I came clear of cancer of some sort. However, I cannot rejoice fully as my PCOS is still there. But the good news is, I STILL CAN GET PREGNANT!

When I came back to Dra. Tecson to interpret the below TVS results, she told me that our main goal now is to eliminate the side effects of PCOS. She can get me pregnant at this time but it would be too risky as there might be complications from my pregnancy brought about by these side effects of PCOS.

Another thing to rule out is any issue with my DH's little swimmers which we would be getting only 2 days after my TVS.

By the way, my doctor assured me that retroverted uterus has nothing to do with infertility. One can still get pregnant with this.

Hoping to see more positive results soon! :)

Of Totems and Saints

Before setting on our 'medical'journey towards parenthood, I became also one of those who will try everything just to get pregnant.

I started on searching for novenas online which can aid me in my distress. I have recited novenas to St. Jude, St. Gerard, St. Anne and so many more. But I guess my convictions and want to have a child at that time were not strong enough. I prayed just for the sake of praying the novena -- not exactly with all my heart out. But I guess if I were to have my novenas again today, it would be more intense as I am now in a different phase.

I even push myself into the chaotic crowd when St. Pedro Calungsod's statue was brought in Bulacan. I was told that he does miracles and will give your heart's desires. So here I was, finding myself squeezed in between thousands of devotees just to have a glimpse of him and say my prayers and also bring home this miraculous handkerchief and novena booklets.

I was also even praying to this pregnant Mother Mary statue whenever I visit my fertility doctor's clinic. My auntie even told me to take home the statue and bathe it for a day so I can also get pregnant. However, I was not able to do so as I know that there is no way for me to 'kidnap' this statue.

Although DH and I are both Catholics, just for the sake of getting preggy, we also resorted to some Buddhist and Chinese beliefs. We went to Bangkok last February 2012 and asked around if there are fertility shrines which we can visit. And of course there are! We were asked to offer marigold to this penis-shaped totem and wish for a baby. I was also given a holy water from a buddhist temple, which I have not drank until now. (Probably I should start drinking it before our IUI procedure!)

I guess that's what any woman would do just to have a baby. I am not insane nor delusional -- I am just a wanna-be-mother who is so perked up in having my own child.

Next in our list -- Chinese acupuncture and herbs!

It Must Have Been Fate

First thing to do when you are TTC is finding the right doctor.

Since I am here in Dubai and I do not have that much connection in the medical world back home, I asked my mom and sister to look around for a good fertility doctor in Bulacan.

I specifically told them to find me a doctor who is friendly and at the same time knows her field very well. I do not want doctors who interact with their patients rudely and do not take time knowing their patients. I want quality time with every visit to her clinic as I have so many questions in my mind.

And so the search goes on.... And since I have only limited time and resources, I settled for a fertility doctor in my home province. I want to spare myself and DH of the exhaustion of travelling to and fro Metro Manila and queuing for long hours in clinics that also charged double or sometimes triple the price of the same quality of treatment I can get in Bulacan.

I told myself I will just reserve the time, energy and money of going to these high-end hospitals if it did not go well here in Bulacan. So we decided to try our luck first in the province.

But in Malolos only, there are already a lot of obgyne/fertility doctors and my mom just told me to visit this clinic that her friend told her. There were 2 fertility doctors sharing the same clinic and we did not know at that time to whom should I set an appointment with. She was just told that the doctor there is good and got intensive training also in Taiwan recently.But we do not know who that doctor is.

So on November 3,2012, my mom and I decided to just visit this clinic. My DH's cousin also referred me to this clinic as she also had her first baby thru them. She referred me to Dra. Bongga. When I called their clinic, Dra. Bongga will be back only 2 days after and that another doctor is on duty during that day.

As my mother was very persistent for me to get treatment right away, she dragged me that afternoon to the clinic and there we met Dra. Tecson. At first, Dra. Tecson did not want to accept me thinking that I was referred to Dra. Bongga. But when my mother told her that we were referred to the doctor who just came back from Taiwan, we were right on the schedule as it was Dra. Tecson.

I hope that this fateful meeting between us and Dra. Tecson will be a fruitful one! Waiting for February 2013 to come!

When It All Started....

I got married in 2006 and the next month, my dear husband (DH) went to Dubai to seek greater opportunities. After 4 months, I followed him there. Since we were just both trying to establish our careers here in Dubai, we decided not to have a baby first. For a year, we were intentionally avoiding naturally to have a baby. But around end of 2007, we told ourselves 'to heck with the rhythm method' and adopted  new motto -- 'come what may', meaning if baby comes then fine, and if no baby then it's ok also.

In 2008, I became  little bit worried because I was not getting pregnant even if we were having baby dances on what I thought was my fertile periods. So when we had our vacation in Philippines, I scheduled my first appointment with an OBGYNE in Sacred Heart Malolos, Bulacan. I did not know if it was coincidence but when I visited her clinic, I had 2 lines in the HPT. DH and I were ecstatic at that time! It was supposed to be around 7-8 weeks already.However, she was not able to perform any other tests as I was bound to go back to Dubai already in 3 days time. So she just advised me to visit obgyne here in Dubai.

But when I got back in Dubai, I had spotting already so I got scared. I went to 2 obgynes here and 1 of them diagnosed it as threatened miscarriage while the other one said it was chemical pregnancy. I was prescribed to take a medicine then which I could not recall and after that, I had heavy bleeding the next day, with large blood clot (size of a 10 peso coin) that came out of me. My DH and I was thinking, that was supposed to be the baby...

After that episode, I did not have regular periods and I never came positive again.

December 2010 -- I visited again my Indian obgyne here in Dubai as I was experiencing prolonged and heavy bleeding. She then diagnosed me having PCOS. She prescribed Primolut-N to stop the bleeding and regulate my period. She wants me to come to her every month so she could monitor my cycle and have me undergo fertility treatment but I had no trust in her and her fees are very expensive. So I had to postpone my treatment on  a later date and resorted instead to Primolut-N temporarily.

Jan 2011-Aug 2012 -- recurrent cycles of heavy bleeding which was temporarily resolved by Primolut-N. And still I am not getting pregnant.

Lots of negative things are crossing my mind. What if I cannot bear a child anymore? What if I have cancer?? Lots of what ifs... So we decided to seek medical help and treat my PCOS and see if there are other reasons why I am not getting pregnant.

Nov 2012 -- DH and I decided to start the fertility treatment in Philippines. And so our journey begins!

Blogging and TTC

As I was researching on my "new interest", I came across with a few blogs that tackle infertility in Philippines. I thought that sharing my journey to others experiencing the same challenges as I have will be worth doing and at the same time, I get to record all the ups and downs of our battle against infertility. So here I am, I decided to start blogging again -- but this time all about my struggles and experiences towards having a baby.

To all the ladies who are TTC and in the midst of their battles towards motherhood, I hope that thru this virtual world, we can, at one point or another, support each other and exchange experiences to fuel us up more in continuing and finishing our journey.

Just keep the faith, and we'll all soon see the wonders of Him.