Blood, Colds, and Mother's Day

As almost all people were celebrating Mother's Day, I was like a grinch hating this day.....

Don't get me wrong... I always love celebrating Mother's Day and was enthusiastic sending greetings to all my relatives, friends and colleagues. But that was before I embarked on this journey of the TTC world.

I had a terrible cold a day before Mother's Day and it got aggravated because I was having night shift. And what terrible could have happen but to have my AF on the dawn of the day which I was hoping to celebrate for myself this year -- I wanted to become a mother on Mother's Day but AF is a witch snatching that hope and leaving my heart battered and bruised once again...

I was already 6 days delayed on the eve of Mother's Day. And there was this litte voice in me shouting that I might be celebrating Mother's Day indeed the next day! I planned to do HPT when I got home and I was already picturing the 2 lines and the oh-so-emotional celebration of Mother's Day with hubby... By the way, this cycle was longer than the previous one which I do not know whether the acupuncture sessions or Clomid was the reason.

And really, it was emotional! AF just arrived in time! AF is really a party pooper! Again, another cycle to wait and of course another heartbreak to face.

And it was like a punishment when I opened facebook. Everyone I knew were happily celebrating Mother's Day. The women of my age and younger than me were posting pictures of their children and babies celebrating the day. Quotes on motherhood and the joys of having a child are everywhere.... The pain was sinking in again. It was like I was stabbed already but they still twinged the knife so many times so I could really feel the pain.

Hubby told me to stop checking FB and just rest because my body was already weak because of the AF and flu-like symptoms. He also assured me that we will have our babies soon so I don't need to worry.

I am happy for those who experienced already motherhood. Even if I don't want to see their photos in facebook, I don't despise them. I just can't bear to see the happiness they are having which I don't have. It makes me feel sadder...more incomplete.

Mother's Day was indeed an emotional day for me. How I wish the next time it will come, I would be able to celebrate it this time. Still keeping the faith and hope.

From Western to Eastern -- Our First Acupuncture Session

As mentioned earlier in my post, the cost of Western medical treatment for infertility is much expensive here in Dubai and our insurance does not cover infertility treatments. So hubby and I decided to go natural for the meantime after this 3rd cycle of Clomid.

We also discussed to try having holistic healing like traditional chinese medicine and acupuncture. So off we go in digging deep into the streets of Dubai to find an affordable acupuncture clinic.

I thought it would be difficult to find an acupuncture clinic here but it was surprising that a lot of chinese medical centers have been established here already. But what is more surprising are the rates of the acupuncture sessions. I thought that since this is a Muslim country, they will not be into Eastern healing. But take note that most of the acupuncture clinics are situated in high-end areas and cater to expatriates usually from Europe. Most of them also include aesthetic treatment in their services which make them more of a luxury here, hence more expensive.

The rates of one acupuncture session usually range from 200aed to 500aed, excluding consultation. For first timers, consultation would cost between 100aed to 200aed. I felt already robbed while jotting down the prices after I called each one of them. Thinking that this would not be a one-time visit only and that I need to have 3-5 sessions of acupuncture sessions, and 2 persons (hubby and I) need to undergo the healing, I tried very hard to find an affordable rate and I even prayed to God and Padre Pio to help us because with those rates that I've seen, we would not be able to afford it (it would be like 500-1000aed every session because there are 2 of us, multiply by 3 sessions so between 1500-3000aed).

And there it goes! When we were about to decide last Tuesday to book an appointment at YinYang house which offered acupuncture at 250aed per session plus 100aed consultation for first timer (total 350aed times 2 people = 700aed), I tried once again googling for acupuncture clinics and I found this offer in www.cobone.com on acupuncture session right on top of the search page.

The cobone deal was for discounted acupuncture session in China Middle East Medical Centre. It cost 89aed per session, 3 sessions for 249aed. I thought it was a hoax because comparing it with the other clinics, it was really cheap. So what I did was to research on the clinic but there was nothing much written on the internet about them. I called the clinic and asked for their normal rate. Their normal rate without the cobone voucher is 90aed per session, including consultation. As it is licensed by Ministry of Health here in Dubai and was featured in Cobone, I believe that it was not a quack clinic. So we booked our first session yesterday, April 27.

The clinic is in Baniyas Road, Deira, Dubai and just beside Carlton Tower Hotel, hence it was not difficult to find. I was kinda nervous because I have not tried acupuncture before and the thought of inserting needles in your skin makes me shiver. Plus, I know my skin is sensitive to pain so I know that I will definitely feel each stroke of the needle in my body.

Upon arrival, we were assisted in one corner for consultation with the acupuncturist. There were 2 of them with us. They asked us what are our problems and if we have any medical reports with us. The acupuncturist closely studied all our medical reports. That was good, I thought. But the problem was the communication barrier. The acupuncturist himself cannot speak English, He only knows a few English words. The other Chinese guy with him serves as his interpreter. They called a lady Chinese staff to take a 2nd opinion on my ultrasound result of my uterus/ovaries. They even went to another doctor in another room to let her take a look on my report.

They said that my left ovary produces more follicles than my right side but none of them are maturing, hence problem with my hormones. They cannot pinpoint right away the root cause of this as my liver is functioning well (according to them). In a way, they said that the root cause of immature follicles are "unknown". The acupuncturist inspected my tongue and my pulse rate at both hands and decided to put me into 3 sessions of electro-acupuncture (which costs an additional 50aed, so total 140aed). Each session will be conducted 2-3 days after the first one and should be done within a week. After these 3 sessions, they advised me to have an ultrasound to check if there are any improvements with my ovaries. If none, we will discontinue the acupuncture and they will refer us to another specialist in Eastern healing.

Hubby on the other hand, had his first session of electro-acupuncture focused on his back because he has been in pain for 2 months already because of muscle spasms. He would just proceed with fertility acupoints on the next visit.

I had more needles inserted in my body than my husband. I had 2 on my right side of head to eliminate headache. Then I had around 4 needles in my left arm. I did not keep track of how many needles were inserted in my abdomen and left leg. He put more needles in these 2 areas and since there was a communication barrier I was not able to ask him what are these acupoints for.

While inserting the needles he asked me from time to time to show my tongue, assessing which acupoints he would insert needles. In each needle stroke, my body was jolting as a response that it was already inserted deep enough. As each needle goes inside me, I felt heavy on that part, somewhat like a contraction or a pull feeling. Then when the electric wires were clipped on the needles, I felt tugging sensations throughout the area where the needles are inserted. I can feel something is flowing and palpitating inside me. I cannot move my left arm and left leg hence I just lied down and relaxed. I was dozing off and was ready to fall asleep but hubby kept on talking to me (we had the acupuncture at the same time, our beds beside each other). The electro-acupunture lasted for 30 minutes (maximum time that electricity should run through our body).

Only when I got home that I got to know that those acupoints in my abdomen and leg are for abdominal pain. menstruation and cysts. While on my arms are for sleep and headaches (thanks to Google again for providing me the answers!)

By the way, the effects of acupuncture in me is I have some brusing in some parts and swelling but it subsided after a few hours. However, the needle insertion marks are still visible and looks like very tiny wounds. I think it's because I have sensitive skin. Hubby did not have any bruising or swelling.

We were asked to go back on Wednesday, May 1, for our 2nd session.I hope this time we can understand each other. I should ask his interpreter to join us inside the acupuncture room so that I can ask questions. I would also ask for some chinese herbs to back up the treatment.

To wrap up our Eastern escapade for the day, we went to Chinese hotpot restaurant just below the building. We ordered hotpot with lots of Chinese herbs and spices to boost the effects of acupuncture session. :)

Till the next acupuncture session! 

The Music Within -- Lullabies on My Infertility Journey (playlist)

Above is a compilation of songs that are currently in my playlist, accompanying me and comforting me towards our journey to parenthood.

1.The Climb 
2. The Scientist
3. Clocks
4. In the Arms of An Angel
5. My Wish
6. Fix You
7. A Thousand Years
8. Blessed
9. Ain't No Mountain High Enough
10. Tunnel
11. So Hard
12. When The Rain Comes
13. Answer
14. Haven't Met You Yet
15. Come Tomorrow
16. Praise You In This Storm
17. Hang on Little Tomato
18. What A Wonderful World
19. Don't Dream It's Over
20. Hey Look At The Sun

Of Totems and Saints

Before setting on our 'medical'journey towards parenthood, I became also one of those who will try everything just to get pregnant.

I started on searching for novenas online which can aid me in my distress. I have recited novenas to St. Jude, St. Gerard, St. Anne and so many more. But I guess my convictions and want to have a child at that time were not strong enough. I prayed just for the sake of praying the novena -- not exactly with all my heart out. But I guess if I were to have my novenas again today, it would be more intense as I am now in a different phase.

I even push myself into the chaotic crowd when St. Pedro Calungsod's statue was brought in Bulacan. I was told that he does miracles and will give your heart's desires. So here I was, finding myself squeezed in between thousands of devotees just to have a glimpse of him and say my prayers and also bring home this miraculous handkerchief and novena booklets.

I was also even praying to this pregnant Mother Mary statue whenever I visit my fertility doctor's clinic. My auntie even told me to take home the statue and bathe it for a day so I can also get pregnant. However, I was not able to do so as I know that there is no way for me to 'kidnap' this statue.

Although DH and I are both Catholics, just for the sake of getting preggy, we also resorted to some Buddhist and Chinese beliefs. We went to Bangkok last February 2012 and asked around if there are fertility shrines which we can visit. And of course there are! We were asked to offer marigold to this penis-shaped totem and wish for a baby. I was also given a holy water from a buddhist temple, which I have not drank until now. (Probably I should start drinking it before our IUI procedure!)

I guess that's what any woman would do just to have a baby. I am not insane nor delusional -- I am just a wanna-be-mother who is so perked up in having my own child.

Next in our list -- Chinese acupuncture and herbs!

It Must Have Been Fate

First thing to do when you are TTC is finding the right doctor.

Since I am here in Dubai and I do not have that much connection in the medical world back home, I asked my mom and sister to look around for a good fertility doctor in Bulacan.

I specifically told them to find me a doctor who is friendly and at the same time knows her field very well. I do not want doctors who interact with their patients rudely and do not take time knowing their patients. I want quality time with every visit to her clinic as I have so many questions in my mind.

And so the search goes on.... And since I have only limited time and resources, I settled for a fertility doctor in my home province. I want to spare myself and DH of the exhaustion of travelling to and fro Metro Manila and queuing for long hours in clinics that also charged double or sometimes triple the price of the same quality of treatment I can get in Bulacan.

I told myself I will just reserve the time, energy and money of going to these high-end hospitals if it did not go well here in Bulacan. So we decided to try our luck first in the province.

But in Malolos only, there are already a lot of obgyne/fertility doctors and my mom just told me to visit this clinic that her friend told her. There were 2 fertility doctors sharing the same clinic and we did not know at that time to whom should I set an appointment with. She was just told that the doctor there is good and got intensive training also in Taiwan recently.But we do not know who that doctor is.

So on November 3,2012, my mom and I decided to just visit this clinic. My DH's cousin also referred me to this clinic as she also had her first baby thru them. She referred me to Dra. Bongga. When I called their clinic, Dra. Bongga will be back only 2 days after and that another doctor is on duty during that day.

As my mother was very persistent for me to get treatment right away, she dragged me that afternoon to the clinic and there we met Dra. Tecson. At first, Dra. Tecson did not want to accept me thinking that I was referred to Dra. Bongga. But when my mother told her that we were referred to the doctor who just came back from Taiwan, we were right on the schedule as it was Dra. Tecson.

I hope that this fateful meeting between us and Dra. Tecson will be a fruitful one! Waiting for February 2013 to come!