Of Totems and Saints

Before setting on our 'medical'journey towards parenthood, I became also one of those who will try everything just to get pregnant.

I started on searching for novenas online which can aid me in my distress. I have recited novenas to St. Jude, St. Gerard, St. Anne and so many more. But I guess my convictions and want to have a child at that time were not strong enough. I prayed just for the sake of praying the novena -- not exactly with all my heart out. But I guess if I were to have my novenas again today, it would be more intense as I am now in a different phase.

I even push myself into the chaotic crowd when St. Pedro Calungsod's statue was brought in Bulacan. I was told that he does miracles and will give your heart's desires. So here I was, finding myself squeezed in between thousands of devotees just to have a glimpse of him and say my prayers and also bring home this miraculous handkerchief and novena booklets.

I was also even praying to this pregnant Mother Mary statue whenever I visit my fertility doctor's clinic. My auntie even told me to take home the statue and bathe it for a day so I can also get pregnant. However, I was not able to do so as I know that there is no way for me to 'kidnap' this statue.

Although DH and I are both Catholics, just for the sake of getting preggy, we also resorted to some Buddhist and Chinese beliefs. We went to Bangkok last February 2012 and asked around if there are fertility shrines which we can visit. And of course there are! We were asked to offer marigold to this penis-shaped totem and wish for a baby. I was also given a holy water from a buddhist temple, which I have not drank until now. (Probably I should start drinking it before our IUI procedure!)

I guess that's what any woman would do just to have a baby. I am not insane nor delusional -- I am just a wanna-be-mother who is so perked up in having my own child.

Next in our list -- Chinese acupuncture and herbs!