As almost all people were celebrating Mother's Day, I was like a grinch hating this day.....
Don't get me wrong... I always love celebrating Mother's Day and was enthusiastic sending greetings to all my relatives, friends and colleagues. But that was before I embarked on this journey of the TTC world.
I had a terrible cold a day before Mother's Day and it got aggravated because I was having night shift. And what terrible could have happen but to have my AF on the dawn of the day which I was hoping to celebrate for myself this year -- I wanted to become a mother on Mother's Day but AF is a witch snatching that hope and leaving my heart battered and bruised once again...
I was already 6 days delayed on the eve of Mother's Day. And there was this litte voice in me shouting that I might be celebrating Mother's Day indeed the next day! I planned to do HPT when I got home and I was already picturing the 2 lines and the oh-so-emotional celebration of Mother's Day with hubby... By the way, this cycle was longer than the previous one which I do not know whether the acupuncture sessions or Clomid was the reason.
And really, it was emotional! AF just arrived in time! AF is really a party pooper! Again, another cycle to wait and of course another heartbreak to face.
And it was like a punishment when I opened facebook. Everyone I knew were happily celebrating Mother's Day. The women of my age and younger than me were posting pictures of their children and babies celebrating the day. Quotes on motherhood and the joys of having a child are everywhere.... The pain was sinking in again. It was like I was stabbed already but they still twinged the knife so many times so I could really feel the pain.
Hubby told me to stop checking FB and just rest because my body was already weak because of the AF and flu-like symptoms. He also assured me that we will have our babies soon so I don't need to worry.
I am happy for those who experienced already motherhood. Even if I don't want to see their photos in facebook, I don't despise them. I just can't bear to see the happiness they are having which I don't have. It makes me feel sadder...more incomplete.
Mother's Day was indeed an emotional day for me. How I wish the next time it will come, I would be able to celebrate it this time. Still keeping the faith and hope.
Don't get me wrong... I always love celebrating Mother's Day and was enthusiastic sending greetings to all my relatives, friends and colleagues. But that was before I embarked on this journey of the TTC world.
I had a terrible cold a day before Mother's Day and it got aggravated because I was having night shift. And what terrible could have happen but to have my AF on the dawn of the day which I was hoping to celebrate for myself this year -- I wanted to become a mother on Mother's Day but AF is a witch snatching that hope and leaving my heart battered and bruised once again...
I was already 6 days delayed on the eve of Mother's Day. And there was this litte voice in me shouting that I might be celebrating Mother's Day indeed the next day! I planned to do HPT when I got home and I was already picturing the 2 lines and the oh-so-emotional celebration of Mother's Day with hubby... By the way, this cycle was longer than the previous one which I do not know whether the acupuncture sessions or Clomid was the reason.
And really, it was emotional! AF just arrived in time! AF is really a party pooper! Again, another cycle to wait and of course another heartbreak to face.
And it was like a punishment when I opened facebook. Everyone I knew were happily celebrating Mother's Day. The women of my age and younger than me were posting pictures of their children and babies celebrating the day. Quotes on motherhood and the joys of having a child are everywhere.... The pain was sinking in again. It was like I was stabbed already but they still twinged the knife so many times so I could really feel the pain.
Hubby told me to stop checking FB and just rest because my body was already weak because of the AF and flu-like symptoms. He also assured me that we will have our babies soon so I don't need to worry.
I am happy for those who experienced already motherhood. Even if I don't want to see their photos in facebook, I don't despise them. I just can't bear to see the happiness they are having which I don't have. It makes me feel sadder...more incomplete.
Mother's Day was indeed an emotional day for me. How I wish the next time it will come, I would be able to celebrate it this time. Still keeping the faith and hope.
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