Sunday, March 10, 2013

Diary on Post-IUI -- The Dreadful 2WW


Here is a list of what I experienced and have done during the 2 week waiting period:

1dpiui - bed rest only. I started on Utrogestan 200mg twice a day -- one in the morning and one at night. I had to take this for 10 days straight. It is a vaginal suppository that will help I think in thickening the endometrium to support pregnancy. If not pregnant, you will still get AF once it is due. I started to eat pineapple also especially the hard part because as per my research the hard part contains bromelain that aids in implantation. Then there is the grape juice a glass a day also.I was religiously taking evening primrose oil also and I still took it on 1dpiui along with folic acid, metformin, calcium and vitamin E. Light cramping was experienced also on and off.

2dpiui - Light cramping was still there but I got out of bed already and went to Libis to visit Padre Pio of Pietrelcina Center. I believe that Dr.T was made an instrument by God to direct me to this shrine as Padre Pio will help us with our petition. From then on until now, I am still praying to Padre Pio for his intercession. With regards to the meds, I stopped taking primrose oil because I read that it should not be taken after ovulation as it is labor-inducing drug and might affect implantation.

3dpiui till 5dpiui - no bedrest for me. I just went on my normal routine but with some cautions. No lifting or doing strenous work. However, I was not able to avoid long walking as I was out with my family. I was also preparing for our departure going back to Dubai so 4dpiui and 5dpiui I was quite busy packing.

6dpiui - our flight going back to Dubai. I was so scared this will affect implantation because of the air pressure up there. Even if Dr. T assured us that we can resume to normal activities after IUI and I can still fly but given my current bodily condition, I am not sure if it was really safe. Hubby and I had doubts but we can't do anything. We can't extend our stay in Philippines because our work is waiting already. So off we go and took the risk. During the whole flight, I felt cramps and gassy feeling until we arrived at home.

7dpiui - got to do household chores early in the morning and went to our admin office to bargain about my schedule for March. To sum up, no rest at all after the flight.

8dpiui - on and off cramps, some household chores, preparing for work the next day. By the way, in between these days I was also having breast soreness, nausea, back pain, hot flashes at night and quite higher than normal temperature.

9dpiui - severe abdominal cramps with sharp pain all over while at work. Plus sharp pain also on lower back. I was scared also at this time as I do not know what is the reason for the severe cramping. Maybe I was just stressed again of going back to work.

10dpiui - I had to report sick thinking that there is something wrong with me because of the cramps and high temperature the night before. I was searching for a Filipino OB doctor here in Dubai but no one. I prayed to Padre Pio to guide me in looking for a doctor who can see us and alas, I was able to find a clinic with 2 Filipina doctors. Though they are both GPs, they also handle ob-gyne cases as per the receptionist in the clinic. So off we went to Philippine Medical Center for a checkup. I was advised to undergo cultured urinalysis to rule out UTI. The doctor also told me it is still early to establish pregnancy. And if severe abdominal cramps occur again, I have to undergo pelvic scan to see what is happening inside.

11dpiui - cramping went away and was anxious to know the result of the urinalysis. The doctor called me in the afternoon advising me the result of the urinalysis, but only the basic one, not yet the cultured report. She said that the cultured report will be available only 2 days after. But she advised me that there is +1 bacteria in my urine sample and she still cannot establish whether this is significant or not as we have to wait for the culture report. She also emphasized that I have again high glucose in my sample so I need to take my meds again regularly and monitor it otherwise it will be risky for my pregnancy if confirmed.

12dpiui - all pregnancy symptoms disappeared so I obsessed researching the internet about symptoms after IUI and effects of the hormones  I was taking. I was scared that AF will come anytime soon.  I was also afraid that all the symptoms I was experiencing earlier were only because of the progesterone that I was taking...

13dpiui - still no symptoms at all except occasional soreness of boobs and very light cramping. Hubby and I bought 3 HPTs, 2 cheap ones and the other 1 a more sensitive and expensive one. I was told by Dr. T to test on March 7. It was only March 5 but my hands itched and I tested in the night. Sadly it was a BFN. But I did not lose hope. I was thinking it was still too early for hpt to determine hcg level in my urine and there are cases when they tested BFN but later BFP on beta test. So hubby and I kept on encouraging ourselves that it was still early. But deep inside me, there was a pinch already in my heart. I was silently crying and I resorted to praying and talking to God, to the point of asking for a miracle to make the hpt positive next time...I had a vivid bad dream also -- accident that involved my sister. Kaya I was more anxious pa.

14dpiui - still no symptoms and no AF. Now obsessing on stories where it was BFN and then BFP later. Obsessing also on possible pregnancy symptoms. The doctor from PMC again called me and updated me regarding the result of the culture urinalysis and she said I am cleared of any infection. Thank God!

15dpiui - I kept on praying to God and to Padre Pio to give me sign if I am pregnant or not. I needed time to relax and keep my mind away from this pregnancy symptoms so hubby and I went out.

16dpiui - around 4am I can't stop my hands and I tested again. This time it was invalid! I used the expensive hpt but the control window line did not show! Oh I guess that was not the sign I was asking for from God. So again, I obsessed on searching for post IUI stories. I was quite depressed already so I resort to reading testimonies in Padre Pio's site. I even search for bible verses for inspiration and strength. This was the day I prayed so hard and pour my heart out to let me know what I have to expect.

17dpiui - I did not feel good about going to work so I took a pass. I was crying at 430am asking hubby for a permission to just skip work. He said OK and then later on asked me if there is something wrong with me. I just felt something wrong deep inside. And the dreadful wait is over, in the afternoon, I saw already brown spotting on my undies when I was about to take a bath. Tears started flowing on my cheeks and I was crying the whole time I was taking a bath. This is it.... The sign God gave me... This was not the right time. As I am really heartbroken, I asked for another local leave the next day just to give time for me to compose myself, grieve for a while, and absorb all these things.

My AF came in its full force today, March 10, 18dpiui or should I say CD1. Off to a new cycle... But I am quite lost where to start again as I am thousand miles away from our fertility specialist...I am entrusting everything to God now. May He guide us to the right path towards having a baby.

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